betrayal

Thirty pieces of silver from my heart
Given to my head to turn away
With naught regrets and unfelt sympathies
Judas’s sin seems venial

Mortal I am and mortal sins unkempt
Denial denial denial
Peter’s sin is forgiven
Head and heart never together forever

saved

I’m holding your place here.
Is it worth the time I spend
Keeping this seat warm for you?
I’m a disaster, but you destroy everything.

What I try to build is demolished
With one word you wreak havoc
I pray that happiness is found
Far from you I wish it be

If you fight for a second or third chance
Know that I will fight hard for my first
I forge my own path
Get out of my fucking way

grounded

I'm alone in this field.  Inviting you to rest in the shade of my arms.  My aim is to protect you from the winds and rains of this oncoming storm.  Let my roots keep you grounded

rooted

The trees weather the seasons and remain unmoved.  Weighted and sad in the winter until the healing warmth and rains of spring bring to life the beauty that lay within their seemingly dead heart.  When they have given all that they are and no longer bear fruit, the other trees around them hold them steady so that they may not fall to the earth.  Until neither can bear it any longer and both relax to the earth to give life to the world around them, allowing other trees to take strength from them.

Untitled

I wish I could claim this as my own

Do not ask the price I paid, I must live with my quiet rage, tame the ghosts in my head that ran wild and wish me dead

Empathics according to doctor who

This is a paraphrase from something I found

Empathics are the most compassionate people you will ever meet. And the loneliest. Exposing themselves to all those hidden feelings, all that guilt, pain and sorrow.

And people like me tend to get their signals mixed up. We think people are feeling the way we want them to feel when they're special to us...when really...there's nothing there.

Old Man Luedecke

This song pretty much defines me...exactly

Notes fromt the Banjo Underground

Rattlin' through a prison of introspection

From the smallest cell can spread the whole infection
And I am not one to push it all aside
For I am one to hurt, and to hide

I read the book of psalms by David
And I sometimes feel exactly the way that he did
I am no man I am a worm he cried
If I said it brought me comfort I'd have lied

Well here are notes from the Banjo Underground
Here is a worm behind the sound
When I find my little light, you know I'll let it shine
Mostly a question of time

And it's nobody's fault but mine
When I'm happy I don't prepare for other times
I've worried holes in my heart will not mend
But I wish I did not hurt my friends

Well here are notes from the Banjo Underground
Here is a worm behind the sound
When I find my little light, you know I'll let it shine
Mostly a question of time
Of time
Of time
Of time